What an interesting comment.

Because autism is a spectrum, with complete normality (whatever that is) at one end, there must be people with low degrees of difference from the norm, and also those who have some typical symptoms, but lack others.

Maybe, as you suggest, you have a some degree of difference, but not enough to warrant a diagnosis of any sort.

We are all unique, and we should celebrate that!

Another top notch find, thank you.

I have added the site to my feed reader list.

Another religious person with Asperger’s. I find it fascinating how many there are out there with firm religious beliefs.

My style of writing is very deliberate, and intended to convey that I know what I’m talking about, whilst trying to leave no room for misinterpretation. I’ve written on the blog about it before – indeed the most popular article ever on the blog is about it – ‘The Aspie style of writing’.

If you look back at the early articles on my blog (you can get articles by date over on the right hand side of each page) I think you might notice that my confidence in writing about my AS has grown enormously in the last seven months or so.

At the start I felt uncomfortable writing “Asperger’s”, and resorted to “AS” wherever I thought I could get away with it. I didn’t use the big “A” word (ok, autism – there I wrote it) until quite recently.

I have become accustomed to Asperger’s over the last seven months or so, mainly from my writing here. Whilst Asperger’s has always been a part of me, it has taken me time to see that and to become comfortable enough to say it. I still couldn’t stand up in front of people and say it, however, so I’m not at the end of my journey yet.

It sounds like you are in a similar place to the one I was in in October or November last year. You’ve made the leap of faith that is “I have Asperger’s”, and now you are trying to figure out what that really means. Don’t rush it. It will come in time, and life will start to feel more comfortable once more.

As I wrote in the initial posting in this thread, I find writing to be enormously helpful in expressing my thoughts – and far more easy to do that expressing thoughts and feelings verbally, even with my wife. But that too is practice. The first few articles on this blog were painful to write, and I didn’t know if my writing would be good enough.

I don’t know if writing works for you as well, but hey – you have a blog and your writing looks pretty good to me. Express yourself, and the complicated jumble of thoughts and emotions will start to make sense.

James

1) In fact, I do get most written humour and got Donkey’s joke within a second or two (The LOL and extended words gave it away for me). But I don’t always get verbal humour that’s for sure.

Once, on an office tour following an interview for Database/IT guy, I was introduced to someone who was described as the former Database/IT guy. I smiled politely and made the expected noises. It never occurred to me till later that this person wasn’t an employee. He was a decorator, just working in the building (and yes, he was dressed as a decorator!)

2) But also, I had trouble understanding Sparrow’s reaction at first and I had to think on it long and hard. Sparrow, I think I understand now and I’m sure I would’ve made a similar mistake, so thank you for the extra posts and for explaining.

Donkey, I think we probably have similar problems with literal aspies but I understand also what you’ve said too and my initial reaction was similar to yours.

To be honest, Sparrow and Donkey, both of you (and James for that matter) intimidate me a little. You all seem so able to express yourselves so fully and you’ve all given me a lot to think about. I struggle and agonise over every word and I’m still trying to understand where I am on the spectrum. But, at times like this, I find that too much talking can sometime be just that – too much. I hope that we can all understand what happened and learn from it. It IS a spectrum and we have to remember that.

Thank you all. (Now I have to go and pick my dog up from her chemo)

Wild

Perhaps your ability to read the extra things like jokes is also a disability when you read extra implications into my words that were not there? I respect your neurology that reads things into words and I am happy to explain what I did or didn’t mean if you see more meaning in my words than I put there. I would never tell you to “lighten up” or “darken up” because you add extra connotations to the things I say. Please give me the same respect when I see fewer connotations in the things you say than you have put there.

I was not attempting to cause you to feel guilt. If you are interpreting my words as an effort to give you guilt, maybe you did something that you feel guilty about and are reading that into what I have said? If so, please don’t do things to me that make you feel guilty. It isn’t nice to me, whether I am able to grasp that you have intentionally wronged me or not. I did not believe you had done anything out of intentional cruelty, rather out of ignorance and following social norms that are inherently cruel but rarely questioned.

It’s fine that you were making a joke and I’m glad that some people were able to enjoy that.

My problem is with phrases like “lighten up” or “you can’t take a joke” — these phrases rarely have a kind intent and are most often “bully phrases.” I don’t like them and have had them used as bludgeons against me too many times. I’m sure I’m not the only aspie with that experience.

I do not need to “lighten up.” I can both take and make a joke. I am fine the way I am and do not need someone else telling me that I am defective and need to change the way I am when I am not harming others or acting like a bully. Please do not use language that indicates that I am defective just because I say what I mean and mean what I say and approach others as if they have said what they meant as well.

I was not trying to offend you by reading your words to mean what they said. It was a sign of respect. I do not deserve to be told that I have to “lighten up” because I can’t see something. Would you tell a blind person to “lighten up” because they didn’t see you making a hand gesture that changed the meaning of your words? Would you tell a person in a wheelchair to “lighten up” because they couldn’t come to a birthday party at the top of a flight of stairs? Please don’t tell me to “lighten up” because I thought you meant what you said.

Please find a way to express yourself to me that is respectful of my neurology. Thank you.