When my husband is away for a couple of days and I can observe my patterns, I find it hilarious to watch myself bouncing from task to task like a billiard ball. I get an idea in my head, I go to carry it out, and on the way, I get a whole other idea in my head, and I go to carry it out, but then, oh gosh, I’d better do that other thing over there before I forget, and before you know it, it’s three hours later, and I can’t remember where I put my list.

Ha! I do this too, and it feels wonderful to me – like I’m getting a huge number of things done. If I am, I’m doing so via an awful lot of unnecessary backwards and forwards movement – walking from one task to the next and then back to the previous etc.

For me, the only way to manage the anxiety is to channel it into something else: writing, art, watching a movie, exercising, etc. And yeah, sometimes, I just stay anxious, but I accept it. It’s just part of who I am. Ultimately, I get bored with my anxiety and turn my attention elsewhere.

Yes – I can see how all of those things help. I never seem to grow bored of my anxiety, however, and have to try and fight my way out until it starts to wane naturally to background levels.

I also feel that expression of how I’m feeling is likely to help – hence the large number of gloomy postings here over the last couple of weeks.
I am starting to wonder if it really is helping, however, or whether it’s just keeping me gloomy and anxious. Not sure any more…

I am familiar with what you describe, especially when it comes to waiting for service people to show up… living in the country it’s really very loose. They’re generally pretty good about showing up on the day they say, but time? Oh forget it. Even as basic as morning or afternoon, it’s really just hit and miss.

And don’t even think about call backs… it’s never going to happen. I’m trying to get ahold of a welder to come do some on-site work for me, I leave messages and nothing, absolutely nothing. I just have to keep trying until I manage to catch him or annoy him enough. The guys at the various car shops always say… we’ll call you back and let you know what’s going on but do they? No. Well, they might if I left my car there for a week, but I generally need it sooner than that.

I’ve gotten better at continuing to do my work around here while I wait for repairmen… having noticed my pattern makes it easier to work with. In a sense I can say to myself, ‘Oh, this again’ and just get on with things.

One of the things I’ve done that I think helps me is when I’m just sitting, kind of blanking out, I direct a thread of attention to the anxiety and just watch it, not fiddle with it, just observe it and become familiar with it, its peaks and valleys, its buzziness, how irritating it is to my system, all the different ideas and thoughts that come up in reaction to it. It is a very old cycle within me, but I’m learning I do have the capacity to just experience it and not get hooked into it. Sort of let it just flow over me like waves at the ocean.

So I no longer expect the anxiety to go away, it’s a companion for the journey. But I’m coming into better relation to it, a more comfortable and less reactive relationship.

Hope this helps. =0)

I think there are two separate issues here:

1. Waiting for a response that never comes

I hate that. It always makes me sad. I feel forgotten. Or judged. Or both. Oftentimes, I’ll be very direct about some topic, and for reasons that escape me, people disengage. (?!?!) Directness is so important to me, at both ends of a dialogue, that I just can’t do it any other way. I’m trying to convince myself that being direct is just my way of weeding out the people I’ll never connect with anyway, but it’s still very hard.

2. Waiting for a response that does not come immediately

My husband tells me that I always look for an immediate response, and he’s generally right. Partly, it’s just insecurity; I want someone to reassure me that I haven’t said something to drive them off. And partly, it’s because I tend to jump on tasks right away and have difficulty imagining that other people don’t (despite 51 years of extremely clear and compelling evidence to the contrary). I’m always afraid I’m going to forget the Very Important Thought that just passed through my mind, so I often just go for it. Even if I write it down to do later, it’s very hard for me to let go of it, because I know that I’m going to have about a million other Very Important Thoughts in the meantime.

When my husband is away for a couple of days and I can observe my patterns, I find it hilarious to watch myself bouncing from task to task like a billiard ball. I get an idea in my head, I go to carry it out, and on the way, I get a whole other idea in my head, and I go to carry it out, but then, oh gosh, I’d better do that other thing over there before I forget, and before you know it, it’s three hours later, and I can’t remember where I put my list.

For me, the only way to manage the anxiety is to channel it into something else: writing, art, watching a movie, exercising, etc. And yeah, sometimes, I just stay anxious, but I accept it. It’s just part of who I am. Ultimately, I get bored with my anxiety and turn my attention elsewhere.

I don’t know if I can help with the anxiety (I’m afraid my personal solution is currently the odd bottle of Green Goblin Cider) but you’re certainly not the only one that does the waiting thing – same logic/same difficulty switching between tasks

I do this ALL the time!

Wild