I’d dearly love to get myself into a position where I had a life that I’m suited to. This is a new realisation though, so I still have a long way to go to figure out just what that is, and how I go about getting there along with my family.

As per the article, at the moment my train is still heading down the same old track, whilst I try and figure out how to change the points up ahead…

I hope so!

I think that part of the difficulty is that conveying how this all works to neurotypical people such as my wife, is actually very difficult for me. It’s also difficult for her to see things from an Autistic perspective.

By way of example, my wife thinks (and frequently says) that she thinks I just need to get over my discovery of AS and move on. She’s not being hurtful or unkind with this sort of remark – she just sees it from a non-AS perspective, where something difficult comes along, you deal with it, and then move onto the next task. To complete the picture she always pre-qualifies these remarks these days, by saying “I know you can’t, but…”

So I don’t just have to battle my own neurotypical aspirations, but also the neurotypical ways of working that other people have, and their neurotypical expectations of me. This isn’t a complaint – merely an observation.

Anyway, I’m rambling…

But you know what? I finally have a life that’s suited to who I am. What I’ve really wanted most in life, when you take out all the “I’m so smart, I can do anything” riff, is to have a loving partner, a great kid, a house that’s mine, and time to write. And I’ve succeeded. So I can’t complain (even though I do sometimes).

I suppose it just takes quite a bit of time to let go of the old railway line and take up a new one. Eventually we’ll find the one headed to Satisfaction!