I feel your pain

I feel your pain, I really do. Well – some of the time I do. It depends on what your pain is.

On the whole I’m not very good at reading other people’s emotions. I can tell if you are angry, or upset, or happy, but most of the more subtle emotions are guess work to me.

If, on the other hand, you are depressed or anxious, that’s a different story. I’ve dealt with these two conditions myself many times throughout my life. Indeed depression and anxiety are extremely common conditions for those who have AS.

Perhaps because I have so much experience with anxiety, your anxiety tends to rubs off on me, often badly. If you tell me that you are feeling anxious about something, then that’s how I’ll end up feeling. I immediately know how it feels to be in your shoes. Depression too, can have this effect, but perhaps less frequently.

I guess this is a little like the ‘Are you angry with me?‘ article. When you tell me about your anxiety or depression it sometimes feels like my problem, and not yours. I take the point of view that it must be my problem – why would you tell me about it otherwise?

Of course I know these days why you confide in me, and it’s not because you want your problem to be my problem. People with AS are seen as good open listeners. We are gentle people and very accepting of others without being judgemental. That’s why you wanted to unburden yourself on me – it feels safe to do so.

What I’d like to know is why your happiness doesn’t rub off on me too? Wouldn’t life be great if it did?

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