Have I done well?

I don’t know if I’m doing a good job unless you tell me.

Indeed, I’m likely to think I’m not doing all that well if you don’t say anything.

You could argue that this has nothing to do with my Asperger’s, and you may well be right – it may simply be a lack of self confidence. I think it’s important to note, however that if it is purely down to this, then the lack of self confidence itself stems primarily from the AS.

Whenever I complete a piece of work, I know how I feel about it. It could be something for my employer, or work on the house of garden, or writing an article for this blog. Everything gets a little mental evaluation at the end of it. Often, if I’ve been in the zone whilst doing the job, I’ll feel very satisfied at the end – that I’ve done well. But if no-one else comments on this, then I’ll be left questioning whether I’ve reached the right conclusion. Self doubt creeps in. Can no-one other than me see how well I did that?

As I look at the world around me, and how people without Asperger’s interact in it, I notice that saying ‘good job’ to someone rarely happens. In fact I see very little to suggest that the recipients of decent work from someone even acknowledge it, let alone say it was good.

Or maybe I’m missing something here. Are non-verbals used to say thank you where the words are missing?

Perhaps if you don’t have Asperger’s you could let me know…

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