Comments on: Eye contact http://www.thatexplainseverything.com/experience/eye-contact/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=eye-contact A personal journey to understand Asperger's Syndrome and myself Mon, 19 Dec 2011 16:20:05 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: James http://www.thatexplainseverything.com/experience/eye-contact/#comment-248 James Thu, 14 May 2009 12:08:52 +0000 http://www.thatexplainseverything.com/?p=457#comment-248 Powerful and very familiar stuff, Rachel. I've never thought about it being akin to seeing someone's soul, but I do very strongly understand what you mean. Your description about sensory processing is what I was trying to get at. You've described it much better than I did. As ever, it's good to hear that I'm not the only one that experiences life this way! Powerful and very familiar stuff, Rachel.

I’ve never thought about it being akin to seeing someone’s soul, but I do very strongly understand what you mean.

Your description about sensory processing is what I was trying to get at. You’ve described it much better than I did.

As ever, it’s good to hear that I’m not the only one that experiences life this way!

]]> By: James http://www.thatexplainseverything.com/experience/eye-contact/#comment-247 James Thu, 14 May 2009 12:04:11 +0000 http://www.thatexplainseverything.com/?p=457#comment-247 I've very occasionally had people looking around to see what I'm looking at too. I guess my camouflage needs more work in this area! I’ve very occasionally had people looking around to see what I’m looking at too. I guess my camouflage needs more work in this area!

]]> By: Rachel http://www.thatexplainseverything.com/experience/eye-contact/#comment-246 Rachel Thu, 14 May 2009 11:35:43 +0000 http://www.thatexplainseverything.com/?p=457#comment-246 If you're flinching and your brain is screaming at you to look away, you may be experiencing what my OT calls "your nervous system defending itself." I feel very similarly. In part, it's a sensory processing problem; I have trouble thinking and speaking while also looking at someone's eyes. It's too much at once, so my nervous system gives me a break by shifting my eyes away to a point over the person's shoulder or on the floor. In addition, for me, eyes are very powerful. I can't read expressions particularly well, but that may be the case because I can't look into someone's eyes without being completely knocked out by the soul of the other person. Who can tell whether a person is surprised or shocked or whatever when you're looking at a whole other aspect of the person's being? I definitely get the "caught me looking" feeling, almost as though I'm intruding on the other person's inner life. My whole system feels allergic to doing that. It feels overwhelming to me and intrusive to the other person. If you’re flinching and your brain is screaming at you to look away, you may be experiencing what my OT calls “your nervous system defending itself.” I feel very similarly. In part, it’s a sensory processing problem; I have trouble thinking and speaking while also looking at someone’s eyes. It’s too much at once, so my nervous system gives me a break by shifting my eyes away to a point over the person’s shoulder or on the floor.

In addition, for me, eyes are very powerful. I can’t read expressions particularly well, but that may be the case because I can’t look into someone’s eyes without being completely knocked out by the soul of the other person. Who can tell whether a person is surprised or shocked or whatever when you’re looking at a whole other aspect of the person’s being?

I definitely get the “caught me looking” feeling, almost as though I’m intruding on the other person’s inner life. My whole system feels allergic to doing that. It feels overwhelming to me and intrusive to the other person.

]]> By: Gavin Bollard http://www.thatexplainseverything.com/experience/eye-contact/#comment-244 Gavin Bollard Thu, 14 May 2009 03:42:47 +0000 http://www.thatexplainseverything.com/?p=457#comment-244 I can do it fleetingly but I always have to look elsewhere for a rest. Because I am deaf, I had "look at their mouths" drummed into me from childhood and that seems to satisfy most people. Of course some people, get upset about that. Particularly women. If you're looking below their eyeline, they make the wrong assumptions. So instead, I look over their shoulders. It's quite common for someone talking to me to get very unnerved and start looking around, over their shoulder or on the floor or ceiling to find out what I'm looking at. I can do it fleetingly but I always have to look elsewhere for a rest. Because I am deaf, I had “look at their mouths” drummed into me from childhood and that seems to satisfy most people.

Of course some people, get upset about that. Particularly women. If you’re looking below their eyeline, they make the wrong assumptions. So instead, I look over their shoulders.

It’s quite common for someone talking to me to get very unnerved and start looking around, over their shoulder or on the floor or ceiling to find out what I’m looking at.

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