In December 2008 my (then 4 year old) son Justin was formally diagnosed. My wife and I were present and after a while the specialist looked directly at me and said “I see where he gets it from”.
By then I had already done loads of research on the net and she just confirmed what I already knew.
I have a very close relationship with my son – in many ways we are exactly the same and we can relate to each other.

It would seem that many aspies are in one IT field or another. I work from home doing computer repair and web design.

All the best,
Julian

James:I agree that working in IT is one of the safest choices that I could have made regarding work. It happened more by luck than judgement for me

I started out in electronics and then learned software development on my own as a hobby, now it supports me. I had no plan…. Looking back, I naturally gravitated to technology for the logic and orderly-ness of it.

Anna: Peter,A survival guide for people with Asperger syndrome, by Marc Segarhttp://www-users.cs.york.ac.uk/~alistair/survival/

Thanks. I’ve seen that site. While some of it may be helpful to a very affected teenager, it’s really not helpful to an adult.

Over my 50+ years, I’ve learned most of the coping and scripts and plays I need to do to get along. Problem is, I’ve lost the incentive to play anymore. I’m tired of acting, it really is easier to just live alone on a huge plot of land. All I’d need is a nearby grocery store, broadband and USP/FedX delivery!

Now I just need that huge plot of land….

A survival guide for people with Asperger syndrome, by Marc Segar

http://www-users.cs.york.ac.uk/~alistair/survival/

You should patent that idea before someone else does!

I agree that working in IT is one of the safest choices that I could have made regarding work. It happened more by luck than judgement for me, however.

I like your bicycle balance analogy – it is one of the closest to how things are that I’ve heard to date. I find putting concepts like that into words – even through the use of analogy – to be somehow elusive, and that they never quite express what I meant.

life with AS would be so much easier with a rule book! “Oh, THAT’S what I should be saying…”James

or the source code…

Maybe when face recognition software improves, we can use it to read facial expressions for us to alert us that there is more going on than what is being said out loud. I like technical solutions!

Reading blogs from others with AS is enlightening. Those without AS, with natural people skills can’t comprehend not having them. I imagine it would be like telling to someone who can ride a bicycle to pretend they can’t. Once one has the balance, they can’t imagine not having it.

I have incredible trouble with the morning greetings and the “god bless you”‘s (people should not be getting me blessed without my permission) (and impose on me an obligation to say “thank you”) and rhetorical questions and eye contact.

Working in IT is one of the safest places to work.

Thanks for the positive comments about the blog.

In lots of ways the blog would be just as important to me if no-one read it, but I feel wonderfully lucky that others are reading and often agreeing with what I say. It helps me to see that my experiences of the world are not unique, odd, or even all that unusual.

I’m hoping that once I’ve received my formal diagnosis, that I’ll be given access to help in formulating better ways of doing things, through CBT or some such. My doctor certainly seems open to this idea, so I’m keeping my fingers crossed.

You are right – life with AS would be so much easier with a rule book! “Oh, THAT’S what I should be saying…”

James

Have you seen this one? http://www.freewebs.com/aspiefrommaine/growingupwithas.htm

I would never tell my employer about my AS. I don’t think it’s a recognized disability in the US. Disclosure would not get me fired, but it would seriously impair my effectiveness.

I work as as software developer and I believe my AS is an asset for my work, like you, I don’t want to be “cured”. Not so helpful in personal relationships though….

I totally agree with you that I am glad I was not diagnosed as a child, I coped and did okay for myself. With special treatment, I’d have had way too many excuses for failure.

Having got the AS diagnosis just recently, I now have to work out a set of disclosure rules for dating. I assume it’s fair to disclose at some point, certainly not on a first date, but when after that? I need a rule book….

Welcome, and I hope you find the writing here useful from time to time.

Here in the UK, employers can and do on occasion seek medical references from family doctors, as do the likes of insurance companies when you apply for a new policy. They don’t get to see the medical record itself, just to ask the doctor questions as to whether there is anything significant.

How would they react to discovering an autism diagnosis? I dunno. Would their questions of the doctor even lead that being divulged? Again, I’m not sure.

As for acting, well, my levels of stress and anxiety have a bearing on how much acting I can do on any given day, before I feel over-stimulated. I do still want to interact with others, and I understand that to do that requires me to act, at least to a degree.

Maybe over time I’ll simply open up a little more to people, and less acting will be needed over all. Only time will tell, I guess.

James