I think ultimately everyone’s brain has a predisposition towards some thing or other that would be labelled as a problem if it were a more extreme version of itself.

I went somewhere last night and found I was terribly bothered by background noise, and I wondered why my companion imagined I could hear what he was saying. I reflected on that and realised I know quite a lot of people who would simply say “I don’t like noisy places, let’s talk somewhere else.” It’s a natural human characteristic that becomes exaggerated in someone who is clearly asd.

I agree completely. The more you understand about ASD and how it presents itself, the more you start to see it to one degree or another in others.

Even my wife, who doesn’t have an ASD has some subtle signs of it in some areas of her social interactions. It is, of course, only a problem if it causes the person problems. It doesn’t 99% of the time with my wife, but it does for me a lot of time, and contributes a lot to my depression and anxiety.

I also think that if you yourself are an adult on the periphery of ASD, you may have a hard time accepting that your children have ASDs. After all, if they explain the symptoms to you, you’ll quite likely feel that they sound very much like normal life to you. This, I think, is likely the way my mother sees things.

James

I’m really glad things turned out in the way you wanted, and it’s good to see that you are going to get some coaching on coping strategies.

Ultimately, that’s the sort of help I’m going to be looking for too. Unfortunately though, my referral for diagnosis has hit a hitch. The clinic of the Professor I’m being referred to is full for the rest of this year, and they’ve not sorted out the book schedule for next year yet. All of which means I’m stuck in limbo for a while, whilst my turn comes around.

All the best,

James

I think that is quite sensible. Clearly a lot of people are straightforwardly ASD. Like yourself and Rachel. But among the general population there are lots of people with ASDish traits. Perhaps you could call it ASD lite. It’s an extremely long spectrum that goes into a very gentle prolonged fade out at the neurotypical end. You can’t be a little bit pregnant but I’m sure you can be a little bit ASD.

It’s an ASD issue because it’s in my genes and my personal experience, but they thought it was more appropriate to give me help tailored to me and the things I am actually having problems with.

That’s the result I wanted really.

That’s a lovely phrase – “when our Asperger’s becomes the main focus, it’s as if we can’t get out of our own way.” – very apt. It’s also clearly the case for me at least that I find that I can’t stop it being the focus – my usual self-fulfilling special interest habits see to that.

At least I’ve seen that if something else grabs me, it is possible to replace my AS special Interest with another, at least for a while. You have to bear in mind, though, that I don’t consciously choose my special interests. It always feels like they choose me.

All the best,

James

Thanks for the congrats!

I completely agree with you. I feel like I have no option but to continue my introspection to understand myself right now, but it can’t and I’m sure won’t go on forever.

James

Agreed – life is happier without a constant introspective angle. One day, my interest in AS will stop, I’m sure, to be replaced by something else. One day that new interest will also wane, and something else will take it’s place. That’s just life in action for me.

Perhaps AS will stop being my focus once I’ve fully come to terms with it, and am able to accept me for who I am. I’m much closer to that now than I was a year ago.

James

Try to stay calm about it. Who am I kidding there – I know I wouldn’t be able to stay calm.

I hope it all goes well. Let me know how it goes – off-blog if you prefer – james at thatexplainseverything.com will get to me.

All the best,

James